Memories
by The Crescent Child
Summary: Are the things that click in the back of your head, but you don't register fully. Are the things that haunt your entire being and strive to feed off your soul. This story is dark. End of. c: Rating may change, PM me if you think it's necessary.
1. Are All The Same

**Hello. :D This is my first NiGHTS fanfic. I'd recommend that you'd take a look at my profile preferably before you read the rest of this, as you could get a bit of background on this story. Please, please, PLEASE feel free to review and PM me, I'm really concerned about the rating for this. It's going to be T for now, but I will change it if necessary. **

**(I'm not suggesting that all of this is, but some of this fanfic is based on real-life experiences.)**

**Contains mentions of drug use.**

**Memories**

**Chapter 1: Are All The Same**

_I have never been one to dream about fairytales. Typically, most eleven-year girls used to think that Prince Charming would sweep them off their feet, make sure that they'd never trip up and wouldn't let go of them._

_It's sad to know that this is all an illusion, isn't it? Princes only flounce girls off their feet and leave them to panic in the air, leave rocks in the path for them to trip over and take any chance to leave them in the crowd. Leave._

_Princes are power-hungry flytraps. And so are peasants._

_It's all just a bloody race for power, isn't it?_

_Like I just stated, I've never been one to dream about that kind of bullshit. _

_Both men and women are corrupted and abuse this idea of 'love'._

_I've never believed in it. It doesn't exist, let's face it. People use love as an excuse to harm each other._

_And let me say this: it hurts. A lot._

The sound of conversing and laughing quietly stirred within my mind and I returned to the book collapsed on top of my face. Moaning slightly, I took it by the rim and directed my attention to the page number at the bottom left of the double page facing me. Page 34.

It seemed I was only just progressing through my story.

The book was called _Saving Grace, _by an author called Julie Garwood from about twenty or so years ago, about a Lady called Johanna, who becomes the widow of her abusive husband and thanked God for her freedom from her abuse, however, this liberty is short-lived, as the King demands she remarry just so she could secure her land.

I've never understood the concept of forced marriage, let alone marriage itself. Johanna had been in an abusive relationship, she should've known that a second marriage would've been a bad idea. It would've just brought more wounds. Marriage is a union of abuse.

I particularly like this idea of freedom, though. Not only the freedom from a disgraceful husband, but from the pain that had been securing her for so long. That sense of release must have felt nice.

The conversing from downstairs continued to hum quietly in the background; whilst I registered it, I didn't pay much attention to it, though I was aware that they were back.

'They' being Félix, my brother who betrayed me, and that walking disaster he drags along with him, Candice.

As much as I hate to admit it, I think Félix is becoming one of those 'princes' girls fantasise about, the prince who leaves rocks in the path to trip girls up. Candice is far worse, however. She can't control her emotions, she's like some breathing emotional firework, feeling the need to attack things when the time is right, including Félix.

Like every other relationship, theirs has now been contaminated with suffering. Shut up, stop feeling pity for them, it's their fault they got into this idea of a relationship.

I decided to leave _Saving Grace _for a moment and abandoned it, carelessly tossing it onto the floor. I made the decision to read more later, however, I wanted to examine any new damage. Emerging from my bedroom, I paused abruptly when I came right up to Candice's face. Félix was dragging her upstairs to the third floor, to his room. Ugh, dear God.

Candice paused as well, and we kind of just stared at each other for a heartbeat.

"What?" she hissed softly.

I really didn't understand why she said that. The noise wasn't really threatening as per usual, but more a fake confusion.

_Don't 'what?' me. Look at you, _I grumbled, feeling something beat in me tenderly.

There was some sort of burn mark across her cheek. It looked fresh.

I've ventured into Félix's room several times when everyone else was out occupying themselves with something. I was aware that Candice regularly seemed to smoke some form of marijuana, but perhaps she's become so addicted to it that she feels the need to smoke herself? I don't know. I don't understand drugs. All I know is that they destroy you and screw you up.

The two of them vanished into his room. Hooray. My dad called my name from downstairs.

My name is Celeste. I forgot to mention it before.

Without haste I thundered down the stairs, to find him sat at the dining room table with a mobile to his ear, and a finger resting on top of the cigarette half drooping out of his mouth, wisps of smoke shining hazily in the light of the lamp on the ceiling.

On instinct, my hand reached for a towel lying on the kitchen side and I pulled it up to my nose, attempting not to breathe in the smoke. Murmuring a last goodbye to whoever was on the end of the phone, my dad hung up and placed it on the table.

"Cele-oh, you're there, right. I had a chat with the school that you want to move to, they unfortunately don't have any free spaces for new students at the moment, I-I'm sorry, Cel, I couldn't…" The end of his sentence sort of vanished into thin air when he noticed my expression. A cold wind was brewing in my eyes. I tried not to get angry, or cry. I'd been desperate to move schools.

_Things _have been happening at my current school. And I'm powerless to tell anyone about it. But I could've at least tried to leave, and it was unsuccessful for the second time now.

He breathed out a draught of smoke and sighed, "Look, if there's any shit happenin' at your little school, you just come round and talk to me about it, but first, I'd talk to a teacher; they'll help you out with things."

"Teacher's just care about salaries, why would they care about students' feelings?" I mused aloud, grabbing a shot glass (that my dad sometimes brings home from those ruckuses he goes to, he doesn't actually run a club at my house) from the top cupboard before swiftly filling it with water and stomping back upstairs.

Before long, I found myself reading the book again, and I looked at the digital clock glaring at me from across the room to check the time. _22:56_

Time does fly. It wasn't too long ago that I moved to my current school, about four months ago. It's just… the people there are toxic.

I fell onto my side and stared at the lilac carpet, decorated with deeper purple squares in the middle. Fatigue was coaxing my eyelids to close. I resisted the urge to and tried to continue my book, but relentlessly, my eyes were hiding away over and over again. I gave up and tossed the book on the floor.

Nights are curious times, quite beautiful and scenic sometimes. Nights, however, also have a deadlier side.

* * *

There I was, back in my classroom again. The teacher wasn't there yet, so my fellow students from my form were sat on the tables, tapping away at mobiles, headphone wires dangling from their ears, whilst others were just casually talking. I stood there, a bit bewildered. Time really did go fast. How did I get there? What happened? I could've sworn I was in bed just a moment ago…

Something was brewing from around me but I didn't care enough to look round. Instead, I both casually and awkwardly hung about on that spot, linking my hands behind my thighs as the lively hum of the kids continued on and on. All of a sudden, I felt an uneasy sensation, and what felt like two fingers tapped me on the shoulder. Wide-eyed, I whipped round.

It was just a small cluster of boys who were my age. I didn't usually care for them but they'd been following me like this for a while now, and in my opinion, it was becoming somewhat annoying. The lead one spoke in gibberish, with the others replying with a long, distorted laughter. An unknown feeling rippled up my spine and I queried, "What is it?"

They became silent and looked at each other for a moment, and a hint of a smirk emerged on the first guy's face. I knitted my eyebrows and walked away, when one of them snatched my hand and forced me to look to them. He stared deep into me, and spoke clearly, "Why are you so scared of things when they haven't even happened?"

"Excuse me?"

And, out of nowhere, the boys behind him were gone, the other kids in the room were gone and he pulled me to his chest. I whimpered and stared up at him as his hands kept a firm grip on my shoulders. Speaking in nonsense again, his smirk appeared again and his eyes glared roses at me.

"Go away." I attempted to screech out, but it instead was just a mere grumble. I tried to bring my hand across his face, and it worked, but for some reason, that made his temper flare. The roses had transformed into blades. I panicked and backed away, frantically looking around, breath rushing to keep in fast pace with my panic. My hands felt hot and cramped now, and my attention unusually came to his hands.

He was holding a knife. Things seemed to stop for a moment. My breath was caught in my throat, like a fly on a spider's web. My attention returned to his face, as he was now glaring roses again. My eyes flared up as tears gathered at my eyelids. His arm thrust out to me and he forcefully captured my shoulder and I was imprisoned, being pressed into his school shirt again.

I didn't say a word, but I could feel the sobs coming. Why was this happening? What's happening? I don't get it! I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it, sto-

And I think I blacked out when the knife burst into my forehead.

* * *

A numb feeling was dragging along my back. I couldn't move for a moment. Dread boiled up inside me. What just happened? Wait… I was still alive. But… how? I was stabbed. I only felt a little bruise on my head, but…

Perhaps it was just a nightmare.

I tried moving my hand, unaware of what I was doing as my eyes were still concealed. I couldn't move, and the alarm was simmering now. Sleep paralysis? I've never had it before but I heard it's possible. Feeling my feet twitch all of a sudden put me at rest, and I opened my eyes.

It was the best feeling, the fatigue draining away from my body like shower water through a plug. My hands got to grips with the stone tiles laid out towards a pair of old-fashioned gates, looking fairly worn-away but still alive somewhat. A murmur of a breeze brought goosebumps along my skin and sent a brief movement through the blades of grass around me. The sound of running water echoed quietly in the background; it seemed to come from the fountain just over…

Wait. Where was I?

**NYANNYANNYANNYAN IT'S FINISHED YAY. HALLELUJAH AND STUFF.**

**Please contact me if you ever feel the rating should be changed.**

**GOODNIGHT, DEAR READER. I HOPED YOU ENJOYED THIS. I WILL START CHAPTER TWO TOMMOROW, SO, DO NOT FEAR.**

**-salute- I AM GOING TO BED NOW.**

**Celeste: ._.**


	2. Are Welcome

**Vroooooooooom! I'm really energetic today and I feel like running a marathon for no reason. I'm in top gear. :D Anyhow, here is chapter two. C:**

**Memories**

**Chapter 2: Are Welcome**

I managed to find the strength to elevate myself off the ground, and I sat upright whilst panning round. Well… at least that nightmare was over, although the feeling of terror was still nestling inside me. Trying to brush myself off, I tried calling out, "He…hello? …is anyone here?"

After about five seconds of a silent reply, I grumbled to myself and pushed myself up, brushing down a few pieces of gravel off of my thighs. I suddenly noticed my clothing. I was back in my clothes from earlier in my bedroom; I was wearing my hoodie, shorts, knee socks and vest top, but… how?

I was in my school uniform, at school, practically a few moments ago.

_Now I really don't know if this is real… _I mused.

I turned around, and fear began to ripple along my spine once again. I appeared to be on some sort of island, floating in infinite darkness. I remained there for a few moments, still trying to absorb my surroundings. Reality or dream, I needed to explore.

And so, pivoting around, I made my way through the crumbling gates. Out of nowhere, a small shard of rock cannoned into my head. I bit my lip, attempting to not scream or yell, and my hand found its way into my hair as I began to rub my new bruise thoroughly. It wasn't really too big, but it still inflicted hurt. Picking up the portion of rock that collided with me, I brushed my fingers over it, digging my fingernails into the tiny holes. It seemed that it came from the gates themselves. They really were falling apart.

I chucked the rock backward and made forward, looking around gingerly as I did so. It was completely abandoned; it had an eerie, ghostly sort of feel to it yet the atmosphere was still somewhat comforting. I inhaled and exhaled slowly through pursed lips; I really had a bad feeling about this place. Then again, I didn't have anywhere else to go. I hunched my shoulders up slightly. I felt under threat.

Something or someone was there.

I brought my fist up a little on instinct. I couldn't fight, but I can at least try. Remaining frozen for what felt like half an hour, I dropped my shoulders and sighed. On some occasions, I become distraught, and most of the time, it's for no reason at all.

Two hands suddenly gripped on my shoulders and I bit my gum, recoiling fiercely without having any time to scream or protest from the sudden pain. I backed off and turned, surprisingly it didn't require any effort. Two velvet eyes were staring into me.

What in the world was this?

It looked… human. But it wasn't, if you understand. It had sort of a jester-shape to it, adorned in purple with a luminous red gem of some sort embedded into its chest, shining kind of like a third eye. And it was floating. I was thinking about running for my life, but I became kind of fixated on the spot.

It cracked a smile. "Ha… your reaction! AAAAaah! That was just… SO priceless!" It spoke with a distinct British female voice, having several tones of formality in its voice but a teasing tone was still present. I narrowed my eyes. "Just who do you think you are, just grabbing me like that? And what are you?" I challenged, making the hostility in my voice clear.

I hate strangers.

Strangers to me are like threats just waiting to unmask themselves.

"Well, _excuse_ me!" It responded, emphasising the word 'excuse'. "_You_ were the one who just turned up here, so, to be fair; I should be asking the same questions! But, who cares. First of all, I can do what I like. Second, I am not a _thing, _I'm a being. I breathe, I talk, I walk- okay, so, I don't exactly walk, but…"

She seemed a bit rude, in my opinion, but nonetheless seemed to be a kind spirit. "You're floating." I commented.

"Yeah. It's just how I am, I suppose." She shrugged it off, like it was nothing. "Anyhow, I'm NiGHTS. Lemme guess your name. Is it, say, Claris? What about Helen?"

I stared at NiGHTS blankly. "Um… can I just ask: where am I? And Helen? Claris? I can't remember the last times I've ever heard those names…" I remarked.

"Oh, well, they're the names of the last two girls who've come here. I don't know any other Visitor names." She smiled, putting her hands on her hips. "Oh, right. This place is the Dream Gate, a sort of meeting point of the Night Dimension. At the moment, you're dreaming, obviously."

Well, at least I understood _something. _I was still a little bewildered by the sudden change of surroundings, the change of mood, and I could've just been stabbed again. That reminds me…

I pressed my hand into my forehead. There was a bruise there. How did I survive that knife attack? It was all so sudden; such a blur. I was grabbed by that boy, unusually a boy I didn't really recognise. His face was completely blurred, awash with monotone. He didn't have any expressions but he _did_ at the same time. People generally tend to say that if there's someone you see in your dreams, you must have seen them once before, even if you just happen to be passing them by.

But…

"Hey, so, erm… NiGHTS. Can you explain something for me?"

"Sure, throw whatever you've got at me."

"I… just a few moments ago, before I wound up here, I was standing in my classroom. A boy who I didn't recognise, but I was positive that I knew him, approached me and attacked me in the forehead with a blade. What… happened?" My voice slowly began to trail off, quieter and quieter 'til I almost lost it, regaining myself on the word 'happened'.

The light in NiGHTS' eyes faded and she darkened slightly, drooping her shoulders. "That had to have been a nightmare, I'm sure."

I clenched my hands together, slowly forming grooves in my palms. "I have a mark on my forehead, though, at least I think I do. It feels like there's a bruise here." My hand lifted to my forehead and pointed to the point of pain.

NiGHTS approached me and curiously brought her palm across it over and over again. My eyes narrowed from the sensation, it didn't sting but it felt numb.

"Maybe you just got it from when you fell here. I can't see any other answer. One thing I AM sure of is that a Nightmaren was trying to attack you… oh, no! Your Ideya!" She exclaimed, alarm ticking off in her eyes.

"My what?" I repeated, scratching my head in straightforward confusion.

NiGHTS shook her head and gently took hold of me by the wrist, pausing for a moment to look at me. Confusion was still present in my eyes but I wasn't too scared now. Hopefully, NiGHTS was a nice person… or being. I still prayed that she wouldn't try to attack me, though.

"Follow me. We need to find Owl. This isn't good. We could be in serious danger." She panicked, tugging at my arm urgently.

"Look, I suppose, but can you please explain to me what 'Ideya' is? I don't understand anything here." I queried, a little irritated at how she still had to hide some things from me.

I silently prayed again that she wasn't a masked threat. I hoped she was just a nice person who for some unusual reason liked to trick people.

**There you go. :D I might not update for a few days as I'm going away this weekend to see my best friend, but it would be nice if I could see some reviews for when I get back. Hint hint… heh, I'm joking. Goodbye. :D I hoped you like this chapter. C: **


	3. Are The Beginning

**Hiiiiiii! :3 Sorry about adding this on so late. Basically, something happened.**

**In the UK, we tend to refer to it as 'school', you might have heard of it? xD**

**Ffffffffffff I'm starting my GCSE coursework :U **

**Anyhow, onto the relevant side of things. I don't own anything used in this except for original characters of mine.**

**(I've implemented lyrics of a song into this; this chapter hasn't become a mini songfic or anything, the lyrics are just… there. Kind of an instrumental to the story, if you will. The lyrics, which are in italics, are from the song **_**Time is Running Out **_**by Muse.)**

**Memories**

**Chapter 3: Are The Beginning**

NiGHTS held a firm grip on my wrist and was taking me around this Dream Gate, like some little child dragging a white porcelain doll with blonde ringlets and eyes like shards of ice. Becoming a little annoyed with her behaviour, I tugged away and, surprisingly enough, she let go, but turned round to face me, with an urgent look in her eyes, almost as if they were trying to take me away themselves.

"What's up?" NiGHTS asked, a hint of irritation present as she tried to take my arm again, but I quickly retreated it.

"Stop dragging me around." I complained. "I am perfectly capable of using my legs to move myself around."

NiGHTS rolled her eyes immaturely, but she still beckoned to me to follow her. "Fine, whatever you say. The old guy is just this way."

_I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated._

_I want to break the spell that you've created._

It didn't take long to find the owl NiGHTS was mentioning; said owl being not very difficult to find as he was resting in a small dip in the paving. In fact, the whole pavement seemed to be like this. It was distorted in a way that it seemed unnatural, well, I know it was a dream, but I'd never seen something like it before. Some parts of the pavement were carved upwards and others curved downwards, like some sort of sound wave.

_You're something beautiful, a contradiction._

_I wanna play the game, I want the friction._

He seemed quite out of breath in spite of the fact he wasn't doing anything. In fact, he was looking rather battered. Both of his wings were torn at the rims, and his left was torn straight across near the tips. The scar was free to leave any bones sticking out; in this case, the bone was jutting out quite clearly, glistening a musky grey. He was wearing what looked like a waistcoat, but the sleeves seemed to have been ripped off so it was completely sleeveless.

"Look at you, you're not getting any better, are you, ol' pal?" NiGHTS remarked, despite the fact that the poor bird was a stack of scars, she still seemed to be teasing him.

"Hoo…" the owl cleared his throat. It sounded like chunks of rock were stuck down his airways. "Dear me, I'm right as rain, and I refuse to let anyone tell me- oh, who's this young lady?"

_You will be._

_The death of me._

His voice, which was now quite clear and smooth, seemed both imposing yet disturbing. I backed away and mumbled under my breath.

Something, I think it could have been a memory, flickered in the back of my mind for a split second, but I shoved it away.

"Well, isn't it nice to meet you! I am Owl. I'm assuming this fool here hasn't had the manners to introduce himself." Owl beckoned to NiGHTS slightly, wincing at the pain of trying to move his wing, but he made no comment about it.

"I _have, _actually, I'm not a moron, you know?" NiGHTS grumbled, putting her hands on her hips stubbornly.

"Alright, alright, I didn't suggest _that!_ Anyway, would you tell me your name, please?"

"…"

_Yeah, you will be._

_The death of me._

I tilted my head downwards slightly so I was staring at his chipped away talons.

"Go on." He persisted, floating towards me slightly, grinding his beak as the effort of waving his wings persistently cost him. I stepped away yet again.

"My name is Celeste." I informed, still inspecting his talons but making my voice clear and firm.

"Ah, alright then. I have to say, though, it's quite unusual to see a beautiful young Visitor such as yourself turn up at these times. They're quite uncommon." Owl chuckled, sighing afterwards, and I felt something inside me click.

_Bury it; I won't let you bury it._

_I won't let you smother it._

_I won't let you murder it._

"No, stop it, stop, go away, leave me alone." I hissed, my arm retreating and snatching for my other elbow as I turned away from him.

I felt panic radiate suddenly from the pair of them, and from the head of my eyesight I saw Owl halt in his floating and rest himself down again.

"What? What's wrong?" NiGHTS queried.

I forced myself to stay silent. No, no, no, no, don't say NOTHING, nothing, because whenever I don't say anything, people just leave me alone. So, maybe Owl will go away.

_Our time is running out._

_And our time is running out._

NiGHTS sighed. I didn't want to look up. I don't know what she and Owl were looking like and what they were doing, but my ears stood vigil and waited for any noise.

"Owl isn't doing anything, Celeste."

_Yes, he is, didn't you just hear him? _I retorted mentally.

_You can't push it underground._

_You can't stop it screaming out._

"…Owl, Celeste has, well, I think a Nightmaren might have stolen some of her Ideya, maybe all of it."

"Oh, dearie me. If that's the case, we'll have to try and retrieve it back."

"Why?" I murmured, looking elsewhere now. I didn't even know what Ideya was yet and now I have to find it. Why should I look for something when I have no clue as to what it is, what it looks like and feels like?

"Sorry, what was that?"

_I wanted freedom._

_But I'm restricted._

I shook my head, trying to deny myself my voice but it ignored me regardless. "I said, why?!" I shouted, looking back up to face both NiGHTS and Owl. NiGHTS' eyes were narrowed slightly in concern whilst Owl's facial expression remained at neutral.

"Because, Nightmarens use the Ideya of dormant Visitors to destroy parts of Nightopia, little by little, each day. Ideya are, well, quite literally, the shards of a Visitor's heart, and each Visitor has five of them." Owl explained, pushing up his spectacles.

I contemplated this for a moment. An individual's emotions are being used to eat away at this place, apparently called Nightopia, a place I'm not aware of, and this is being caused by Nightmarens, people or things I'm not aware of either.

_I tried to give you up._

_But I'm addicted._

"Emotions are being used to kill something." I mused.

"Indeed. Nightopia, in itself, is a place inside the Night Dimension, which can only be entered as long as there is the presence of a Visitor's idea. Nightopia essentially doesn't have any setdown, specific aesthetics. It changes depending on the Visitor's heart. A Visitor's heart gives Nightopia its form." Owl continued to ramble on, keeping his focus on me at all times, making me feel more uncomfortable and unsettled than I already was. It was like some sort of talons or hands of fear were crawling up my legs.

I continued to think.

"If… if I don't have any Ideya now, then, shouldn't this place be destroyed already, as Ideya…" I contemplated, my voice now barely a whisper escaping from the crevices of my vocal chords.

NiGHTS shook her head and began to spin around lightly, a curious aura about her as she began to gaze upon her surroundings, a lighthearted, almost whimsical feel in her eyes. "Ideya only gives Nightopia its form, it doesn't actually make it exist. Nightopia without Ideya is just a blank sheet, really. Sounds pretty boring; I prefer it when there's Ideya in the picture." She chimed.

_Now that you know I'm trapped._

_Sense of elation._

_Because I seem to lack any Ideya now it's been stolen, I've turned Nightopia into an abyss. _I realised.

"Well, fine. I don't plan on spending much more time here anyway." I argued, tugging at the hem of my hoodie urgently. "This isn't real. When I wake up, I can just forget about this. Even if it's my Ideya, it doesn't really concern me if I have no wish to stay here."

My thoughts ran over what I said. I drained out the fact that it seemed selfish.

"I'll be going now. NiGHTS. Owl."

_You never dream of breaking the fixation._

_You will squeeze the life out of me. _

**OKAY THEN.**

**JUST NOIIIIIISE, WHITE NOIIIIIIISE.**

**Yes, I feel a bit weird and sick to my stomach.**

**Good day, sir/ma'am.**


End file.
